#10 Jawz The Jaguar vs. Eli The Eagle - Apparently the Eagle stole the Jaguar's Jaguar convertible and took his sister on a date in it. That stuff doesn't fly in Jaguar world.
#9 A Mascot Royal Rumble - The eagle appears to have the advantage on the chicken until the frog and Trojan warrior enter the ring! And then a dog comes in from out of nowhere! t's absolute mascot pandemonium!
#8 The Big Bad Wolf Gets Attacked By The Three Little Pigs - Thanks to mascot gossip sites, the pigs finally found out he's been sleeping with their mom all these years.
#7 The Adidas Mascot Fight - He was being a little too rough on the beaver, don't you think? That's what she said!*
*Please note that this was a poorly executed self-made "that's what she said" joke. I apologize for the inconvenience.
#6 Barney Gets Smacked Around By The San Diego Chicken - You have no idea how many kids have wanted to do this to Barney for years.
#5 Robot vs. Red Creature vs. Purple Eagle - I guess the robot won? I mean really, who the hell is in charge of mascot design these days.
#4 The Wisconsin Mascot Gets Body Slammed By Michigan State Cheerleaders - Most mascots never recover from the shame of being beaten up by a male cheerleader. Their fur starts to fall off and they start popping Cialis like they're Skittles.
#3 The Cal Bear vs. The Stanford Tree - I got in a drunken fight with a tree one time. I was winning until he started throwing acorns at me. Let me tell you, getting branch slapped is no picnic.
#2 A Chicken Cheapshots A Dog - This is why you never, and I mean never kick a chicken in the butt.
#1 The Oregon Duck Serves Up A Houston Cougar Facial - And that my friends is the world's first case of duck on cougar teabaggging.
20 hours ago
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