Billy Connolly Chain Letter

How sh*t are chain letters! They are so pointless and boring! If you are like me and can't stand the sight of them, read this...it's perfect!
Written by comedian Billy Connolly.

Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour. F*ck 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't f*cking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity. The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you sh*gless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.

Don't pi*s people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day!

Billy Connolly

P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then f*ck off

The Very Best of Ralph Wiggum

We all love The Simpsons but one of the best characters has to be Ralph Wiggum! Here are his best moments on video. Below the videos are some of Ralph Wiggums coolest quotes to savour.

The Bloodhound Gang Tribute to Ralph Wiggum

The Gospel of Ralph Wiggum

 
Ralph Wiggam Quotes

There have been so many classic quotes over the years from Ralph are here are just a few classics:

"Me fail english? That's unpossible!"

Ralph(To a wolf): "Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies..."

"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever"

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there"
"Miss Hoover, my worm flew into my mouth and then I ate it, can I have a new one?"

"My parents won't let me use sissors"

"I'm peddling backwards!"

"It tastes like burning!"

"I bent my wookie!"

"Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky"

"Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar"

"When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University"

"I heard your dad went into a restarant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant"

"Oh boy sleep! that's where i'm a viking!"

"I dress myself!"

"I'm a boy!"

"Was president Lincoln okay?"

"I found a moon rock in my nose!"

"Hey, I know you, my daddy took your beer"

"Your hair is tall, and pretty!"

"Help! She's touching my special area!"

"My toys are all sticky"

"Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours"

"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"

"This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end"

"That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!"

"He's gonna smell like hot dogs"

"Is this my house?"

"She's gonna say my name!"

"I'm pedaling backwards!"

"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and they won't let me turn on the stove"

"so.......you.......like....................stuff?"

and finally, ever wondered who the voices behind the Simpsons characters were? Check out this video:

Kids Artswork Slated

Children's artwork is funny isn't it. Cute and as as a parent you proudly hang up pictures of your children handy work on your walls at home or even work. We found these cool pictures below and found the comments so funny we had to share them.

Child Art 1
Review
"First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the sh*tt*est dog I've ever seen".

Child Art  2
Review
"Holy sh*t, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colours. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipsh*t".

Child Art Picture 3
Review
"Ding Ding! Here comes the sh*t-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of sh*t".

Why The Harsh Reviews?
The person who rates them explains his reasoning behind his reviews "The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece"

The Funniest Animated Gifs Videos

These animated GIFS collection made me laugh so much. Enjoy this funny video as much as we did!

London Haircut

As Kate Moss would say "Get the London look". This cool picture is the definition of "A big haircut". 

Worst Sports Injury Videos

Unfortunately in the great and bizarre world of sport, many participants do get hurt and here we feature some of the worst sports injury videos. Most of the injuries you hear about are maybe bruises or cuts, or the injury happens to a tendon or muscle, so you can't really notice what is wrong with the injured person. However, there are those grotesque and disgusting injuries in which you know that person will not be participating in that sort for a long time! Here are just a few of the worst injuries captured on camera:

We are not even sure if this is real as his leg just snaps for no obvious reason. If this is real then he won't be back in a cage for a while!

This video shows many different sports injuries, some bad and some really bad:

I clearly remember this leg break not because of his name (Busst) but for the reaction of Peter Schmeichel. Unfortunately Busst never played professional football again after this horror injury.

This tackle on Arsenal's Brazilian born Eduardo gave him a broken leg in February 2008. He is expected to recover but the jury is out on this as it has a horrible leg break. Lets hope he does as he is a very young and excellent player with a promising future ahead of him.

 

Another horrible football injury on Djibril Cissé. He was lucky and managed to continue his career after this horrible leg break.

Probably the best looking College in the World

Wow! this is a stunning looking College. College de Valleyfield is in Valleyfield, Quebec, Canada.