There is nothing easy about divorce. Even if you happen to both agree to terms and end up with a relatively amicable separation, the fact of the matter is that divorce is something that can put a serious strain on your mental health, even more so if there are children involved. While it’s never easy to say goodbye to a former life, there are steps you can take that should ensure you’re able to move through the process with your sanity intact and come out the other side without completely shredding your mental health. Here, we’re looking at nine in particular, and while some will be general advice, others will be more specific to divorce.
Choose Sound Legal Counsel
Regardless of whether you’re able to still see eye to eye with your soon-to-be former spouse or not, it’s crucial to enlist the support of quality legal counsel. In almost all divorce cases, the most common pain point outside of dealing with any children is often the splitting of assets. According to this Brisbane family lawyer, part of the process involves ascertaining various settlement entitlements and the division of assets that have usually been built up over the course of a significant period of time (a lifetime for some). When you have a divorce attorney in your corner who is not just experienced with the process but is able to help you claim your side of the separation in a compassionate manner without causing even more ructions between parties, you can ensure the process goes far smoother, and you’ll end up with more than the 10-year-old family wagon to your name.
Seek Support From Friends And Family
If there is ever a time in your life to seek out support from your nearest and dearest, it’s now. The benefit of this step is that even if you happen to be the cause of the divorce due to whatever means, your closest support network will often be a shoulder to cry on without passing judgment. Of course, they may proffer some hard truths, but it will be done in a manner that is more conducive to your healing and acceptance rather than outright criticism.
Establish A Routine To Maintain Stability
Routine can be a blessing or a curse, but in the context of this post, it’s almost certainly going to be a blessing. When you create a routine of sorts, be it fitness, self-care, art, meditation, or whatever else, you will be able to put the focus away from the pitfalls facing your life and more toward the positive things. Moreover, these are the sorts of things that remain within your control, which help to give you a feeling of being your own captain during a process that can often feel as though you’ve been cast out to sea in a boat filled with holes.
Engage In Regular Physical Activity
We touched on this point in the previous paragraph, but maintaining your health throughout the procedure is key to maintaining a positive state of mind and helping to avoid falling into the usual vices that come with severe depression. It doesn’t matter what exercise you choose as long as you enjoy it and are able to keep it consistent. However, in most cases, workouts that stress your system and cause you to break into a sweat will offer the most satisfaction and, in some instances, can be incredibly cathartic.
Remain Patient Throughout The Process
Patience is a virtue in more ways than one, especially so when it comes to something as distressing as a divorce. Proceedings can often take longer than most people think, and when you’re unable to agree amicably on specific issues, the process can be stretched even further. Stressing out about something that you’re unable to control directly is the most potent ingredient to dominating mental health, as it can cause you to become irritable and prone to lashing out at those around you, further deepening the downturn. You must have confidence that your lawyer can help you achieve your desired outcomes and that you can move with the twists and turns that are an inevitable part of the process. One way to achieve a higher level of patience is to start practicing something like meditation or yoga, which have been shown to help boost mental clarity and see things in the long term as opposed to only what you might see directly in front of you.
Limit Exposure To Toxic Environments
To limit yourself to a toxic enjoinment, you first need to understand what the term “toxic” means to you. For some, it might be crawling back to an old flame out of an unplaced desire for some love and affection that you’re worried you’re about to lose, while for others, it could be their local pub where they often go to drown away their pain in the bottom of a pint glass. Whatever toxic means to you, you’d do well to do all you can to avoid it entirely, as nothing good will come from allowing yourself to create even the slightest chink in your armor.
Communicate Openly With Your Children
If you have children, you must be open about what’s happening with them. How you go about this will obviously depend on their ages, but it always helps to keep everything out in the open rather than causing everyone additional stress by trying to hold onto secrets. It also helps you to calm any fears that they might be the cause of the divorce, which is a common misconception among younger children.
Avoid Passing Off Your Pain To Your Children
This is another child-related tip, but one that you really ought to heed if you want to maintain cordial relations and avoid mentally scaring your children. It’s far too common for parents to pass off their pain to their kids either directly or indirectly, which can cause many kinds of issues as they grow. It doesn’t matter if you’re blaming your spouse for the divorce or choosing not to fight for custody; the fact of the matter is that if you make them one of your priorities, you will not just keep them happy but also give yourself a newfound sense of joy.
Try To Maintain Ordeal Contact With Your Former Spouse
Unless your relationship has broken down to such an extent that you’re only able to make contact via your respective attorneys, it helps to keep clear lines of communication wherever possible. This can help to alleviate many of the usual sticking points as you can both come to an agreement that while the marriage may not have lasted, you aren’t out to hurt them and would prefer to move apart on good terms.
Divorce can be nasty and highly stressful if you let it be, and ultimately, it can end up with your mental health declining significantly. These tips are only a few, but they should give you some guidance to move through the process and create a new life once the proceedings have been finished.
