Funny Racing Horse Names – Including Hoof Hearted & Oil Beef Hooked

Showcasing a growing collection of the funniest racing horse names from around the world. Some of these were not allowed by the horse racing authorities and if they had would have been a horse racing commentator’s worst nightmare. We also have included some horse racing names that were amazingly passed by the authorities including these first two classics that the commentators just loved to say and can’t fail to deliver a smile:

Hoof Hearted




Horse Names that were declined: 

Okay most of these are innuendos, but hey, they make the best horse racing names!

Ben Timover
Neil Anbl0wme
Chit Hot
Sarah Jessica Parker
Oil Beef Hooked (an Irish horse)
Anita Hanjaab
W!lly Fisterbottom
Arfur Foulkesssaycke
Choke the Chicken
Curl One Off
Hugh G Dildeaux
Norfolk Enchants
Are Soles to You
Willie Be Hardigan
Pee Nesenvy
Sp@nk The Monkey
Jack Schitt
Anita B Jaynow
Hugh Janus
Hugh G Rection
Pee Nesenvy
Betty Swallocks

Here’s a funny video from Graham Norton’s tv show of Minnie Driver reading out some of these horse names that were refused by the British horse racing society:

Actual Horse Names that were passed:

Arrrrr (see video above)
Wear The Fox Hat
Sofa Can Fast
Hoof Hearted (see video above)
One Way Ticket to The Glue Factory
Panty Raid
Barely Legal
Bodacious Tatas
Go D!ck Go
Buck N@ked
Oh No, It’s My Mother-In-Law
Gay Crusader
Little Hitler
No fat chicks
Blazing Buddha
Slippery D!ck
Little Kn!ckers
Noble Locks
Big T!ts
Passing Wind
Dirty Sanchez
Foxy F@nny
Muff Diver

So when you’re next down the bookies, studying horse form (perhaps on the Grand National) and checking the latest horse racing tips, have a look out for some of these horse names.

Let us know by leaving a comment below if you come across any other funny horse names as we’ll add it to this ever growing list of funniest horse names.


Racing Horse Name Rules

There are also some strict rules relating to equine names including:

  • No name can contain more than 18 letters including spaces,
  • Names aren’t allowed whose pronunciation or spelling is obscene or insulting – including spoonerisms or rude foreign words.
  • The name of a living person can only be used with their permission.
  • Brand names are only allowed with the brand owner’s permission.
  • Interestingly famous racehorse names are never allowed to be used twice so there will never be another Shergar, Red Rum or Arkle despite the fact that they are all deceased.


More Interesting Racing Horse Name Facts

  • Margaret Thatcher famously refused Clement Freud’s request to name a horse after her so he called it ‘Weareagrandmother’.
  • Notorious persons or terrorist organisations are also frowned upon, although Hamas ran in Britain a few years ago.
  • A handful of cheeky horse owners around the world have succeeded in registering risque names abroad after being turned down in this country.
  • The owners of a horse called Big T!ts first tried to register it in the UK, but instead registered in France, where the phrase means nothing, after it was vetoed in the UK.
  • Other double entrendre-packed titles have slipped through the net in this country including Geespot, Foxy F@nny and Finmental.
  • Who Gives A Donald, Passing Wind and Dirty Sanchez have also been granted permission to race.
  • Muff Diver, Peony’s Envy, Wear The Fox Hat, Sofa Can Fast and Hoof Hearted also race or have raced either in Britain or around the world.
  • Footballer Wayne Rooney’s scouse pals Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman were famously given the green light to call one of their nags ‘Another Horse’. Great when the horse racing commentators screamed: ”And Another Horse is in the lead”.
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